(Created in the similitude of C.S. Lewis’ Screwtape Letters) for modern issues.
My dear Wormwood,
It is apparent to me that you have lacked the wherewithal to produce any adequate and long-lasting fruit since your transfer to America. Quite frankly, I think it’s time for you to be dealt with at the banquet table, as a snack, of course. However, I suppose that since I am attached to your rather odious name, I must help you produce something worthwhile, rather than to destroy you utterly.
You say that the movement you call new Calvinism has gained great popularity. You say that the younger generations have adopted many of those vile doctrines of the Reformation, that dark season in our own history. Ahh, those were the good old days, the catholic church was eating out of our hands, the corruption, the abuse of authority, the greed, the ambitions. I can still remember the taste of those who came to our father from that time, succulent indeed. Not like much of the trash you have brought us as of recent. Unfortunately, those good times didn’t last, that vile servant of the enemy Wycliffe and those that followed him: the notorious Jon Huss, that grotesque Luther, the loathsome Calvin.
The Reformation was in the hands of Slobby the vile. Well, slob, he was, and of course we see the results. He failed miserably and lost us control and consequently great feasts, but I digress. Back to the subject at hand: You say there is a resurgence of the doctrines of grace. Despicable truths to be sure, but the question is why have you done nothing. Do you think that our father below has sent you on vacation, did you suppose that your trip to the United States was for a leisurely stroll of human watching? You despicable imp, get to work, I say.
We simply cannot allow another Reformation, EVER! Shorter than that, it is unfortunate that you’ve failed to squash this uprising of those doctrines from above which we hate so much. Did I say they were truth earlier? Well as I had to explain to my stooge, who thought there was a chance to gain my position by exploitation, the little whelp, was that I simply meant, “They believe it is the truth.” Of course, we believe our father below who insists those doctrines are nonsense and simply a way of Him who shouldn’t be named, to show off his supposed sovereignty and supreme “love.” Ridiculous really. Do not think for a minute that you are off the hook for allowing those doctrines to spread, especially amongst these younger generations.
Luckily for you, I am truly your superior and being so far elevated, I have devised a way to get you, and therefore redeeming my own good name, out of this mire you in which you have descended. There was one of our fellows, Rumcicle, that started this idea in the humans after we obtained Karl Marx. Oh how tasty that one was! He was truly a genius that Rumcicle. He encouraged the following generations to adopt Karl’s idea, since it failed, to apply it to the social realm, rather than a physical uprising. Of course, we would have loved the revolution, but sometimes it’s just a nice to see those vile ones whom HE loves so much suffer mental anguish in bitterness and contempt. Afterall it has led to some good violence. Regrettably, it has taken far too long to develop. This is where my own genius comes in.
We ought to now infiltrate this despicable family, the one who must not be named has built for himself. Cleverly I have devised a way to start with our own people, applying pressure to those He loves so dearly, and to twist a bit of that hideous book of truth they have. There I go again, I mean to say the book they claim is the truth, and then we shall dine!
So my lazy, rotten, good-for-nothing nephew (I mean that in the most endearing way), listen up. You will start suggesting the term “social justice” to these creatures of ours, the sons of our father below. What’s that you say, “You don’t want to use the term justice?” Who is in charge here? Do you wish to be consumed, I think not; so do as I say. It’s not that horrible idea of perfect rightness, justness, impartiality, accountability to “truth.” No, not that at all. And this is the beauty of my scheme. Mind you, if you fail to execute it properly it will be your own scheme that fails, and I will be free of your stupidity. Once we put an adjective, modifying the term justice, it no longer serves HIM but becomes a convert ideal of our father below.
The complacency and ignorance of “HIS” people will surely allow us to convince them that it is, in fact, a good and righteous thing. I’m sure we can convince those dreadful beings to believe they are synonymous. What dupes, what suckers they really are. How stupid are those insolence beasts HE created.
What you must do is to convince our people that there is an inherently oppressive system that must be changed in the name of “Social Justice,” and that the system must be overthrown, starting in the social arena. A social revolution or reformation. Some ideas to add could be supremacy and domination of a particular group, oh yes, a hegemony. Let’s use that from the old system. Make white heterosexual males the enemy of Justice. It’s so delicious I can almost taste it now. It’s fortunate for us that very few of these creatures know their history. Of course, our father below is well pleased with this fact, that department does do such a good job, the sinful ignorance department that is. Mr. Wipeminds truly is a master of convincing these humans that either history is of no use or that it is somehow tainted and thus can or should be ignored.
The enemy of our father below has tried to warn His own in that knowledge is useful, but we have stifled that thought throughout the ages. We either make knowledge puff up, to bring them to us below, such a delicacy is the proud and arrogant, or we make them lazy, the slothful to is quite the meal. However, should you let them search for truth and see through your scheme, well, my good nephew, it will be you that should be a snack for the new recruits. They must not discover our scheme, or should you fail, your scheme, to twist the so-called Justice of the one above into this social justice. Their beautiful chaotic and Godless society is just where it needs to be. Surely, even you, as pathetic as you are at times, can infiltrate the one above’s precious Church with our little ruse.
There is much more to say, but for now, you must begin our work! Remember should you fail, our father below will delight in the most gruesome of punishment for you and I will make sure my name is not on you knobby little lips. Now get to work you slob, and I’ll check in on you sometime shortly to see your progress.
Your affectionate uncle,